Friday, July 15, 2011

Give me Blood I will give you GDP / Everyone loves a Bomb Blast in India

(With due apologies to Subhash Chandra Bose and P Sainath)

There was a time when everyone loved a good draught. But last three years Indra God has showered enough on Indian soil, and all the people those who were happy because of draught were sad. (Also draught has been now more for jholawala types and not for World Bank types). The saddest person was our economist, honest, intelligent, Oxford and Cambridge educated, ex-world banker, who loses sleep if a terror accused is arrested, Prime minister Doctor Manmohan Singh. Every bomb blast in India gives him a peaceful sleep. After all bomb blasts helps in the overall economic growth of India. His slogan is Give me Blood I will give you GDP.
(Since Government says bomb blast of 14/7 was not an intelligence failure and future prime minister indirectly says one off bomb blast is necessary; it makes me wonder is Government of India organising this bomb blasts? Because, I have still not understood how 26/11 terrorist could roam freely shooting people from CST to Taj Hotel, crossing Head office of RBI, Navy Base and Police Commissioner’s office, which are guarded 24 hours with armed men).
For the uninitiated let me clarify every bomb blast adds to India’s GDP and gives an immediate boost to the industrial growth. Let’s look at bomb blasts contribution to Indian economy, step by step:
· It reduces population.
· Family, relatives of dead, get rich by insurance and compensation money. If they are poor they move up the poverty ladder.
· The family, relatives, friends become instant celebrity.
· Bomb Blasts have moved to 2.0 from 1.0; i.e. some are getting luckier twice because of Bomb blast 2.0; i.e. loosing family members second time, which means assured source of income.
· News Channels, portals, newspapers, magazines; viewership, readership goes up instantly.
· Mobile companies sell more handsets and make more money on uses of SMS, Twitter etc.
· Places of Bomb Blast become tourist spot; don’t believe me; just checkout Leopold Cafe.
· More bomb blasts attract FDI (Foreign Direct Investment) in terms of insurance, mobile, medical and media companies.
· FDI also happens in the area of social entrepreneurship i.e. more unaccounted funds come for the human right organisations for terrorist and safety of minority community.
· People’s attention gets diverted from scams, price rise and gives politicians to focus on new ways of corruption.
There was a Savitri who got Satyavan back from Lord Yama. There was Basanti Devi, wife of Deshabandhu Chitaranjan Das who called the youth of India for revenge for Lala Lajpat Rai’s death and inspired Bhagat Singh to do so. Today; most of the wives, as well as husband (if they are educated) try to encash the death. It could be by writing books, joining political parties, addressing seminars. The only known (to me) exception has been Paramveer Late Sub Inspector Tukaram Ombale’s family.
In today’s age and time, no point talking of Abhimanyu, when, the future prime minister aspirants, Ex-prime minister Rajiv Gandhi’s children generally have a chat with his killers. After all it helps in winning elections.
Don’t be surprised if Taliban, Indian Mujaheedin, Lasker e Toyaba, ISI, etc. get listed in Bombay Stock Exchange. They will be oversubscribed several times; after all, number of shares one holds of these organisations will be directly proportional to his secular standing in the society. The who’s who of corporate world, those who were fortunate to lose their family members in attack on Taj and Oberoi; will ask to reserve a quota for them in share allocation.
It is not Kalyug stupid, it is just GDP i.e. Greed over Dead body and Patriotism. That’s why; everyone loves a Bomb Blast in India, keeps voting secular government back into power and no one talks of revenge.

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